New year, new me...

So I ditched ALL efforts towards weight loss last year in September-October, I was going through a lot of emotional issues, and just dealing with a bunch of bullshit basically, and I know this is no excuse, but it happened. I've gained quite abit of weight.. I haven't even weighed myself since then! But I have made the decision to get back to healthy habits, and what better time to start than at the beginning of a new year! a new start!

I live in a rural area, so that means we don't have any large shopping centers, or grocery stores. My goal is to start everything next Monday  Reason being, I am going into the city to get all my shopping done this coming weekend, so I am going to take this week to make up meal plans, and a good solid shopping list (Which I will post on here when I am done working on them). I also plan to do a weigh in and measurements on the same Monday.

I really hope that this time I can do it. Mind over matter. I read a quote from a facebook page that said "motivation is not the answer, determination is" and I know I am DETERMINED this time. I no longer want to be the fat friend, the girl who has "a cute face".

:)

frustration.

So I don't understand why I am making this so hard on myself. I start to do good for a few days, then I just fuck it up.. I eat the shittiest foods, and way too much of it! I stop exercising altogether because.. I don't know why.

I am so SICK of being unhealthy and overweight, yet I am my own worst enemy. I need to give my head a shake and really step it up. I need some kind of inspiration. I need a solid plan.

Its really hard to live with people who don't need to diet, and can indulge in all sorts of treats.. because all this junk food is constantly present. I know that is a part of life, and I need to find a way to be strong enough to just ignore it all, and know that i'm changing my way of eating to change my way of life.So many people say to eliminate all the junk from the house so your not tempted to indulge.. but I can't do that, because my family isn't willing to give up all their favourite foods.

I never thought it would be so hard for me to do this, I kind of figured it would be a breeze, a walk in the park! FUCK was i wrong!

My goals for the next while are

• Exercise at least 3-4 days a week.
• Put a conscious effort into watching what i eat. Reduce portion sizes, limit sugars, etc.
• MOVE!! BE ACTIVE!! 

For something that I want so bad, I sure am good at failing miserably. I know this is going to be a very hard journey, and I like to think I am ready to do it. But I keep proving that I cant.

Sad.

Doing good :)

The past few days have been actually very easy for me.. I find as soon as I cut out any kind of breads and pastas my bloaty belly goes away right away... my doctor once suggested i try to eat gluten free to see if my stomach problems went away, I didn't follow his instructions and now i am kind of wondering why i never listened before!!

Last night i had about 1/4 of a poutine with green onions, and let me tell me.. it was effin' DELICIOUS!! totally worth it! hahah.. i got my exercises in the past couple of days.. so I figured why not indulge abit?! Im right back on track this morning :)

Good morning, Good start

Good Morning! I woke up and i'm already feeling good about today! I've had my breakfast and am gonna start doing all my housework soon, as soon as i get off this computer! lol The weather outside is absolutely BEAUTIFUL today, so this afternoon i'm going to go for a nice long walk out in the back field. 

Breakfast

• 1 cup of coffee (2 sweeteners, and cream)
• 2 eggs; scrambled with cream and green onions
• 2 sausage links
• 2 slices of marble cheese

I've pulled out chicken breasts for dinner and I'm trying to find a recipe i seen on pinterest and for some crazy reason didn't pin! I'll post the recipe once I find it!

here i go! watch out now!

Tomorrow is going to be a good day! I went to the city today and ate some fast food.. it wasn't even good! I was actually disgusted with it! I cannot wait for this stomach ache to go away, within 30 minutes my stomach was completely bloated and I felt so uncomfortable. 

Tomorrow I am moving my treadmill out of storage and into my bedroom. Once my son is gone to sleep I can jam on there while watching tv, or listening to music. Now that winter is coming I haven't been going for any walks at all and I have had this treadmill for many years now.. might as well dust it off and put it to use! I plan to continue with my various exercise routines as well as adding in walking (hopefully eventually running! put that one on the goal list). 

Last winter (2011) I gained almost 40 POUNDS!! and I have made a promise with myself that I will not let that happen EVER again. These past few weeks of being so unhealthy has finally sunk in, I've gained almost 10 pounds :( But i am going to try to see the bright side... at least its not more than 10 pounds. I can do this.. I want to do this.

I'm looking forward to posting more positive words on here in the coming weeks/months. The reason I made this blog was to share my weight loss story, not to share all my failures and disappointment. 

Tomorrow is the start of the new me. :)

inspiration